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The best jokes for the best man

Did you know that 60% of best men leave it until the last 24 hours to write their speech? Ok, they don't, I made that up but it's believable isn't it.

You've received the honour of being the best man for a wedding. Great news! All you need to do now is organise the groomsmen, set up a bachelor party, stop the groom losing his mind and most importantly write the funniest speech in the world.


Easy right? Well no, not really if you've never done it before. Thankfully I've written these for a variety of clients and I've got some funny best man speech examples right here. All these are from real clients that left me positive reviews after.  


Hopefully these help. If you'd like me to do the same for you and write or punch up your speech then contact me and I can give you a hand.


Don't be this guy. Your groom wont appreciate you showing up with a monitor on your arm.

Best Man Speech Examples

Example 1 - The Joint Best Man

This speech gives some good examples of how you can use some common openings to make your intro seem spontaneously funny by dragging and dropping in names of significant others. For example:

Good evening everyone, for those of you who may not know us/me, I’m _______/ and this is _____ — we’re/I'm _____’s younger brother(s)/best friend/drinking buddy. For those of you that do know us/me, please stay quiet for the next 5 minutes.

All you need to do here is drop in the relevant people and you've got a funny introduction if you have a bit of a reputation with your family. This should get you a nice, easy and early laugh to settle you down a bit.

Next is a good example of how to use a simple pull back/reveal joke.

...we want to thank everyone who has made this great day possible...Especially [the parents]... for raising the two incredible people we’re all celebrating today. But enough about me and Jeff, this is about Brian and Liza.

The fact that this is a joint speech opens the door for this joke and plays with the idea of the 2 most important people in the room. Again, assuming you're part of a duo, all you need to do here is swap out the names and you've got a cheesy but fun joke to put in your opening.

If you read on in the speech you can see how it goes from more generic jokes to ones specifically written for the groom based on the information given. These aren't as easy to copy and paste but have a look and see if you can apply the same principles to your groom. If not just drop me a message and I can see about writing your speech instead.

Don't be ill-prepared as a best man. Hell hath no fury like a bride who's pissed at a best man.

Example 2 - The in-joke



One of the most useful weapons you have when creating a funny best man speech is the in-joke. When you're on stage doing stand up you're constantly thinking about things people can relate to. In this case it's easy - relate to the groom. In fact quite a lot of people present are literally related to the groom.

All this shared knowledge is an absolute goldmine when it comes to material. Make sure you target the qualities (or more precisely flaws) of the groom that everyone knows about. You'll get a laugh of recognition even if your joke isn't that strong. In the above examples the client gave me lots of information to work with so I could write stuff like this:

I’m so surprised that we’re all here today. Not because of the wedding, I think we all knew that was coming. Just because there’s so many people here, I would have assumed that G had insulted you by now, enough for you to do something else today. G is infamous for being more to the point than a diamond tipped sword so consider yourself in an elite group just for being here.

This whole bit plays on the fact that the groom is short tempered, which is a fact that is difficult to hide. Obviously you can't go in saying he's got anger management issues but throw in some silly comparisons like the diamond tipped sword one and you'll get away with this as teasing.

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When making a speech timing is everything. For example this guy is a day late. There's no one at the wedding.

Example 3 - Father of the Groom




So this one's a bit different but with the same principles. This was a punch up I did for a father of the groom speech but it's essentially the same as a best man speech. It talks about the happy couple, it pokes fun at them as well as himself and generally just has the same kind of structure. Plus this was a punch up order so it shows how a normal speech can be made funny with a few tweaks (my edits/additions are highlighted). If you'd like me to do the same for your speech just fill in this contact form.

So this speech was written for a groom that was getting married in what was essentially his Dad's summer house. It shows antoher great opportunity for more material - your surroundings:

Wendy and I thank everyone for coming to Tahoe. I know it was difficult to persuade you all to come to this absolute dump of a place, but thankfully you bit the bullet and joined us.

This one's simple. It's just a bit of sarcasm because the place is absolutely beautiful. Most wedding venues tend to be quite nice so you can use this in your wedding speech if you wanted to. 

Another thing this speech has got that you can use is self deprecation. Now I'm British so self deprecation is our only way of communicating but it can also be a good way of getting some laughs during your speech. 

Since neither drink, they are a good influence on us. I know, it’s supposed to be the other way around, but he’s also meant to look up to me and at 5’5¼ that’s not going to happen.

Remember, chances are that a lot of the audience know you as well so just like the groom is a shared reference point, so are you. Poke fun at yourself and you'll get the audience on side as well as adding to that laugh count.


Remember, it could always be worse.

Hope these funny best man speech examples have helped you on your journey to being the very best man you can be. Just remember to have fun with it and stick to your style while throwing in some written stuff that you know will get the room laughing. If you would like me to write your speech or punch up something you already have then drop me a messge using this form and I'll get back to you super quick to help you out. 

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